maliciousmelons:

Seeing where your elementary school friends end up is always fun.

(via miribalis)

trapical:

to be honest i find it hard to believe that theres someone out there that would be able to spend the rest of their life with me

(via mis4nthropy)

royal-high:

a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english  he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work

(via land-of-greyjoys-and-cannibals)

cosmo tip #651

expertcosmotips:

bazinga shirts exist so you know who not to date

(via davekat)

what i actually said: i forgot
what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i'm pregnant.

hownowbrownseacow:

rosiebeck:

nxv:

primisthebomb:

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face

Fantastic.

(via miribalis)

moldymolly:

Sometimes, I’ll listen to a playlist that I made and I’ll think “Damn i”m good”

(via theprosaicmoments)

rockpapertheodore:

pan2dapan:

cerberusdad:

i like the word partners because no one can tell if you’re dating or if you’re in a buddy cop movie

oddly enough, no one can tell if Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are dating or in a buddy cop movie.

(Source: inkse, via broebubbles)

arikhaldan:

Live life so fully that Westboro Baptist Church will picket your funeral.

(via the-nightmare-bunny)

sleepwonk:

mrscalypsojackson:

ameliafromafairytale:

ditch-able-prom-date:

thetableistryingtoeatme:

Shout out to all the religious kids who keep their beliefs to themselves in the middle of science class.

shout out also to the atheists who don’t shit on everyone else’s beliefs “because science”

shout out to all the people who understand that it’s possible to be religious and still believe in science

BLESS^

(via the-nightmare-bunny)